How to Pray – Matthew 6:5-8
I must confess with Lloyd-Jones, that “this portion of
Scripture . . . is one of the most searching and humbling in the entire realm
of Scripture.”[1] We not only sin when we are walking away from
God, we also sin in our approaches to God.
Sin is a virus that can endure the hostile environment of the prayer
closet and turn us sick with pride and hypocrisy. It’s not only that we don’t pray or that we pray
badly, it’s that when we do pray, we often pray sinfully.
In these verses, our Lord warns us against two very common
problems in prayer: ostentation (vs. 5-6) and vain repetition (vs. 7-8). But embedded in our Lord’s words are not just
words of warning and condemnation; they are also full of hope and promise. The whole point of our Lord’s words is not
merely to discourage wrong praying but also to encourage true prayer. He wants us to see false prayer for what it
is and to love more deeply the God who hears prayer.
And that’s what I want to do this morning. I want to encourage you to pray. And I want to pray the way our Lord teaches
us here in these verses.
I. How we are NOT to pray:
1.
With ostentation
a.
Why people pray this way: to be seen by men
b.
Why we should not pray like this: God will
reward those who pray in secret
How are (a.) and (b.) connected? The reward that God gives is infinitely
greater than any reward men can give.
And you cannot have both. God
will not reward those who pray in order to be congratulated for their piety. If I want God to bless my prayer life, if I
want him to hear my prayers, then I must do it with an eye to him only.
Some evidently have used verse 6 as a reason to forbid all
public prayer. But this cannot be what our
Lord is teaching here for the very reason that our Lord himself prayed in
public. John 17 is such a prayer. And the early church did not understand Jesus
to forbid public praying for the church often gathered to pray together (cf.
Acts 1:24; 3:1; 4:24-30; 12:12). In
fact, these verses demonstrate that God loves to answer prayers offered in the
context of the gathered church.
What our Lord is saying is easy enough to understand. It is not that we can only pray in private,
but that God alone ought to be the focus of our prayers. He is the only audience that matters, whether
we are praying in private or public.
When we are praying, it ought to be directed not to those around us but
to God. On the other hand, our Lord’s
words surely underline the importance of private prayer, of time alone with
God. Jesus himself often did this (cf.
Luke 5:16; 6:12). If our Lord felt the
need for secret prayer, then what excuse do we have to neglect it!
2.
With vain repetition, with empty phrases
a.
Why people pray this way: they think they will
be heard for their many words
b.
Why we should not pray this way: Your Father
knows what you need before you ask him
As D. A. Carson points out, our Lord’s reference to pagans
(Gentiles) in verse 7 is not meant to excuse either the Jews or religious
people in general from this accusation.
Jesus, after all, was speaking to Jews in these verses and warning them not to pray this way! “Every religious group harbors some who pray
repetitiously. So with the Jews of
Jesus’ day. He labeled all such praying
– even those of his own people – as pagan!
‘Pagans’ are not so much the target as the negative example of all who
pray repetitiously.”[2] Even so, even though we are not pagan, that does not mean we are more susceptible to the
charge of hypocrisy and ostentation than we are to vain repetition. Sinful beings that we are, we need to be on
guard against both.
Why is (b.) a reason we should not pray the way the pagans
do? How is it that God’s omniscience is
a reason not to pray with vain repetition, with babbling? It would seem that this is not only an
argument against praying in a certain way, but an argument against praying
altogether.
In order to answer these questions, we must back up and ask
a preliminary one: why do people use vain repetitions? Why do we babble in prayer? Jesus gives us the answer: he says that
people do this because they think they will be heard for their many words. It seems to me that the mindset behind such
praying is belief in a God who does not really care about us, and who therefore
needs to be cajoled into meeting our needs through the use of many-worded
prayers. In other words, the God to whom
the pagans (and many times the not-so-pagan) pray to is a God who has to be
coaxed into hearing us. He has to be
worn down. Or he has to be
impressed. Then, if we have prayed
enough, if we have been pious enough, then God will hear us. This seems to be what Jesus is inveighing
against.
Thus, when Jesus tells us not to pray like this because our
Father knows what we need before we ask him, he is not so much protesting
against a lack of belief in the omniscience of God as he is protesting against
a lack of belief in the love of God. Of
course people who pray believe that God is omniscient (if he is not omniscient,
how could they be sure he could hear their prayers in the first place?). But there is knowing about something in the
sense of having information about it, and then there is knowing about something
in the sense of caring about it. You
have this distinction illustrated in Scripture over and over again. God foreknew his people (Rom. 8:29); but this
does not mean that God was merely aware of their existence. It goes deeper than that; it means that God
loved them before the world began. In
our text, the two are combined. God is
aware that we have needs, yes. But more
than that, as our Father he deeply cares about them. I think that must be one reason why Jesus
keeps referring to God, especially as the object of our prayers, as
Father. He is reminding us of God’s deep
concern and care and love for his children.
You see this in the way Jesus speaks to our anxiety in
verses 25-34. In verse 32, he tells us
that “the Gentiles seeks after all these things [food and clothing],” but “your
heavenly Father knows that you need them all.”
Now that would be no consolation against anxiety if the knowledge of God
referred to in verse 32 was merely a reference to God’s omniscience, the bare
knowledge that God has of his created universe.
Rather, this “knowing” is the knowing of care and love. It is expressed in verse 26 in the words,
“Are you not of more value than they [the birds of the air]?” It is expressed in verse 30 in the words, “.
. . will he [God] not much more
clothe you, O you of little faith?” God
knows his children in the way any good father knows his children: he knows them
in a way that values them and cares for them much more than any other thing in
his created world. Therefore, when Jesus
says that our Father knows what things we have need of before we ask, he is
saying that we need not treat God in prayer as if he didn’t care for us. Those who do so end up just muttering vain
repetitions.
In other words, in the pagan way of praying, there is a
complete absence of a relationship with God in prayer. There is no drawing near to him. In contrast, when the psalmist differentiates
himself from the wicked, he says, “But for me it is good to be near God” (Ps.
73:28). He not only drew near to God,
but for him it was a good thing. It was
enjoyable, it was a real blessing and delight.
That is what prayer ought to be like.
It ought to be like children wanting to be with their father.
Thus, prayer is not some tactic that we wield to coax God
into doing our bidding. Prayer is not
some religious technique we use to impress God so that things go well for us
and not badly. Rather, prayer is that
part of a real relationship with God in which we speak to him as a child would
speak with a father. It is not that
cold, mechanical performance which the pagans call prayer; it is the natural
expression of a warm and personal fellowship with God the Father.
c.
Does this mean prayer should be purely spontaneous
and never planned?
What about discipline in prayer? Where does this come in? If prayer is meant to be the outflow of a
relationship with my heavenly Father, should I ever make myself pray? Should I
have stated times for prayer? Won’t this
kind of regimen gradually erode the relational aspect of prayer? These are all good questions. The concern lurking behind all of them is
that once you introduce discipline into any area of life, it is easy for it to
become just another box to check and then go on. And if that happens, you really have stopped
praying for all intents and purposes. So
is it right to have set times for prayer?
I believe that it is right to have set times for private
prayer. It is right to speak of the
discipline of prayer. Think of any other
relationship that you have. Take
marriage, for example. This is meant to
be one of the closest earthly relationships that we have here on earth. And certainly, there ought to be a lot of
spontaneity in marriage. If everything
were planned out, if every act of a married couple was scripted, there would be
plenty to worry about. In fact, I would
doubt such a marriage could involve real love.
But on the other hand, if there is no thought put into the relationship,
if there is no discipline involved in marriage, then it will easily fall prey
to the forces in this world that destroy marriages. Dates don’t just happen; you have to plan for
them, and sometimes a lot of planning goes into them. What’s often surprising, however, is that it
is precisely within the context of such rigorous planning that some of the
happiest and most spontaneous moments of marriage happen. In other words, marriage proves that
spontaneity and discipline and planning are not mutually exclusive. Often they complement, rather than undermine,
one another.
The Bible supports this idea of the complementarity of
planning and spontaneity. Daniel prayed
three times a day (Dan. 6:10), even when it became dangerous to do so. We see Peter and John going up to the temple
at “the hour of prayer” (Acts 3:1). When
the need for a diaconate arose within the early church, one of the reasons the apostles
gave for appointing others to the task was so that they could devote themselves
to prayer and the ministry of the word (Acts 6:4). There was as much discipline behind their
prayer lives as there was behind their preaching. So, both under the old covenant and under the
new covenant, God’s people have pursued a regular life of prayer. Our Lord’s prayer life is described in Luke
5:16 in this way: “But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” This indicates a regular prayer life.
Moreover, the fact that our Lord tells us to “go into your
room and shut the door and pray” almost demands planning and discipline when it
comes to prayer. It is not enough to
simply rely on the “flare prayers” that you offer on a wing throughout the
day. Yes, the command to “pray without
ceasing” demands that every moment of our lives be a constant prayer. But that is no reason to think that we
shouldn’t plan for extended times in our Lord’s presence without distraction. Our Lord tells us to go into the closet; shut
yourself out from others, from the cares of the day, from the myriad of things
that cloud our thoughts and weigh on our hearts. Get alone with God for a time. And plan for it. Because if you don’t plan for that time,
there are a thousand things pulling on you that will keep you from entering
into the prayer closet. You simply
cannot obey our Lord’s command here unless you have a disciplined prayer life.
Nevertheless, it is important to beware against creating a
quiet time which is meant more to quiet your conscience than it is to quiet
your soul before God. The attitude is
what’s important. It is something I have
struggled with and I still struggle with it.
Let me illustrate this from my own experience. I remember reading one time what a well-known
pastor said about himself, that he didn’t beat himself up for not spending 30
minutes a day in prayer. When I read
that, it gave me great relief! Why? Because I had thought that any pastor worth
his salt spent at least an hour a day in prayer. You see, my heart was all wrong. For me, it was about the clock. I had to spent X amount of hours before the
Lord if I was to be worth anything to him.
But my prayer time was often really worthless because my heart was not
set on God. My eye was on the clock
instead of on Christ. It is true that
many of the great saints spent many hours in prayer; but they did not do it
because they had to, they did it because they wanted to. In the same way, we need to constantly be on
guard against this kind of Pharisaical attitude.
d.
Another question we could ask in this connection
is: should prayer never be scripted?
It depends on what you want to do with the script from which
you are praying. If you are doing it to
impress God with “beautiful speech,” then I cannot imagine anything more
absurd. In fact, that kind of attitude
is corresponds exactly with the kind of pagan way of praying that our Lord
condemns. Prayer is not meant to be a platform
by which we impress God; rather, it is a child coming to his father out of love
and trust. We already have our Father’s
ear; we don’t need a thesaurus and a dictionary to get his attention.
On the other hand, using words written either in the Bible
or by other godly people, can be a means not to engage God’s heart for us but
to engage our hearts for God. I think of
Hosea’s words to backslidden Israel: “Take with you words, and return to the
LORD; say to him, ‘Take away all iniquity; accept what is good, and we will pay
with bulls the vows of our lips’” (Hos. 14:2).
Here is a scripted prayer that Israel was prompted to pray. It was not meant to impress God, but to give
them a place to start in their prayers of confession and repentance. If you’re stuck and don’t know where to begin
in prayer, I would commend picking up your Bible and going to the Psalms, and
then making the psalmist’s prayer your prayer.
Take with you words – and I cannot imagine any better words than that of
the Bible itself. In fact, the very
existence of the “Lord’s Prayer” is reason enough to allow for scripted
prayer.
Another thing I have done in the past is to go to one of the
epistles and to take a chapter – it doesn’t even have to be a prayer – and to
turn each verse into a prayer. Or, one
can use books like The Valley of Vision
which is a collection of Puritan prayers, or you can turn to Matthew Henry’s A Method of Prayer which is full of
Bible verses organized under various headings to get you started. The issue at the end of the day is not
whether you are reading a prayer or praying completely extemporaneously but
whether in it you are drawing near to God or not.
II. How we are to pray
I am here indebted to Lloyd-Jones’ exposition of the
verse. In his commentary on this text,
he points out that our Lord’s words indicate that three things are of paramount
importance for prayer. They are
separation, realization, and confidence.[3] I think he is right on, and so I am going to
steal his main points for my own outline.
Let’s begin with separation. Our Lord tells us in verse 6 that we are to
go into our rooms away from everyone else and pray to our Father in secret. As we’ve already pointed out, there is a
great deal of truth in seeing this separation from a physical standpoint. We need to put some distance between
ourselves and others, we need to get alone with God. Moses met God in the burning bush when he was
alone. Jacob met God at Bethel when he
was alone; he wrestled with the angel when he was alone. Many of the vision granted to the prophets
came when they were alone. Jesus
withdrew himself from the crowds so he could be alone with God. Even so, we need to get alone with God. The reason for this is that we are
human. Distractions are distractions; it
doesn’t matter how saintly you are. God,
above all things, deserves your full attention at least for some part of the
day. Let’s do our best to give it to
him.
But it can’t stop there.
We need to go on to realization. We can put space between ourselves and
the world and still remain separated in our hearts and thoughts from God. So we need to remind ourselves before whose
presence we are coming. Our God is the
great, the awesome, the infinite, eternal, and unchangeable God who rules in
heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth.
And he has promised to hear those who come to him in faith. In prayer, you have, as it were, accompanied
the high priest into the Most Holy Place; you have stepped into the presence of
God. If we realized this as we should,
God would have our complete attention!
And yet, we so often just see ourselves in prayer mumbling words to
ourselves. Prayer with faith in Christ
brings us into the very throne room of heaven; ask, and you shall receive!
Finally, we need to have confidence. It is in that word, “Father.” Our Lord does not teach us to come to God with
the words “God Almighty” (although that is not necessarily wrong!), but with
the nearest of relationships, that of child to father. It is universally recognized that the love a
parent has for a child is one of the strongest emotions and commitments that
binds one person to another. It is why
it is so shocking when children are abused by a parent. And yet, as Jesus points out: “If you then,
who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will
your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Mt.
7:11). A child who is loved by his/her
father is not going to be afraid to ask father for something. And the child-like confidence they possess is
the same kind of confidence that our Lord invites us to in these words.
Perhaps the thing that keeps us from such confidence more
than anything else is our sin. But if
you belong to Christ, why should it? He
is our Father precisely because we have been adopted into the family of God
through Christ. “But to all who did receive
him [Jesus], who believed in his name, he gave the right to become the children
of God” (Jn. 1:12). “Behold, what manner
of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of
God” (1 Jn. 3:1, KJV). The whole point
of our Lord’s words here is that it is pagan to think of prayer as a way to win
God’s ear and favor. You already have it
in Christ. He is listening because he
loves you. So come to your Father. Don’t let the things of the world get in the
way. As the hymn puts it, “And the
things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”
[3] D.
Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Studies in the Sermon
on the Mount, p. 307-309.
Comments
Post a Comment